By: Zelenka Boyd
“You’re black!” a cute little brown skinned girl about the same age and complexion of my daughter Ireland yelled in a very assertive tone as they were playing together.
My daughter Ireland said back to the little girl “You’re black too!”
The only difference was that Ireland replied this in a comforting, reassuring voice. It was as at that point that I had realized that although my baby was only 3 years old, the self-love, and the positive affirmations that I spoke to her and her siblings daily were very much understood. Her childhood innocence overshadowed and never even comprehended the negative tone in which this child spoke those two words; but instead the love and compassion that she knew, caused her to respond in a tone of love and pride in who she was and who she was taught to be.
All three of my kids are different skin tones with all three of them sharing the same mother and father. My oldest, Marley, is the lightest; she has a caramel skin tone, my son Ayden, is light brown and my youngest daughter, Ireland is brown skinned like me (Ayden and Ireland being the twins).
I’ve been asked questions like, “Do they all share the same Dad?”
I’ve even been asked if my oldest child and my son are twins. People see the two lighter complexioned children and automatically think that they are twins, and they’re not.
In a world where we’re not only judged by others of different races for our melanin, there is also this factor of colorism- favoritism or exclusion among those of the same race but of different complexions.
Since my children came into this world, I’ve always made it a point to tell them each day how important, and loved they are by me no matter what. As great of a point that I have made to teach my children to love themselves, I do know that there are people who have not, and are not showing their children to love who they are, and who aren’t teaching their kids the idea of inclusion.
Be the example
In order to teach our children better, we must be the example that they can model themselves after. If you are always speaking negatively abut yourself, your looks, and of other people’s looks, then what do you expect for your child to do? Children are like sponges and they will truly soak up each and everything that we say to them and around them. None of us are perfect but modeling an image of self-love and acceptance around our children will set them up with a foundation of confidence and love.
Positive images on the internet and in books
We all know that we are living in the technology age, and that there are so many images and things out there that we must be mindful of the things that our children are indulging in. Showing them positive images of people who look more like them, who have the same color skin, the same texture hair and who are living similar lives to theirs, help them in becoming more comfortable in who they are. It prepares them to be better equipped with a confidence that can withstand the ignorance that they may encounter in the world.
Preparing them for some of the negative things
As bad as we would like to shield our kids from all that is evil in the world, there are just some life battles that they will unfortunately encounter; but if we let them know that there will be people out there who are not so nice, and who may not share the same views and thoughts as them, they will be just fine. It may be unpleasant, but at least they will have the tenacity and boldness to stand up for themselves, and know exactly who they are, and have the certainty to know that other people’s views do not reflect their character.
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