The things no one speaks about.
Being a stay at home mom has it ups and downs. Its great to stay home with my baby girl and watch her grow and know that she is being taken care of well! I cherish the moments and days I have with my daughter because I know when I return to work I will miss the days I used to have with her.
“ You fight to keep your identity”
There are also downsides to being a stay at home mom. You fight to keep your identity. It’s a serious fight too! You want to be the best mom and /or wife that you can be. Sometimes it can feel as though you are wearing so many hats that you are just not yourself. You're not the professional that you were before you got pregnant because in New York we are not allowed to stay home with our babies for a sufficient amount of time and return to the workplace. It is hard to keep up the same hobbies. You don’t have much time to yourself. When you do get small amounts of time to yourself (when your child is napping most likely) you must : shower, clean the house, make yourself something to eat, do laundry and handle any important messages or calls that are very hard to address with a bouncing baby in your lap. Sometimes I forget to do my hair and I'll walk past a mirror in my house thinking “omg I look like crap”.
Some people seem to think as a stay at home mom you: sit on your butt all day, you watch tv and movies all day, you get to sleep most of the day, you get to relax and do what you want because you have so much time on your hands right?! People seem to think you have nothing going on just time and relaxation. Well yea maybe if my baby took care of herself!... but then that wouldn’t make her a baby and then I wouldn’t need to stay home and care for her. I think if being a stay at home mom allowed you to have a bunch of free time on your hands and hours of relaxation time then everyone would want to be a stay at home mom!
Taking care of a baby alone is a job! You have to be a mind reader or feel the wrath of a high pitched and stress causing cry. You have to clean, feed and play with your baby. You have to be energized and in good head space 24/7. After you are done with just the baby needs (not including your own or house chores) how much time does mommy have for herself?! All jobs have clock in clock out system but us mommies never clock out. We have to fight for our personal time. When daddy comes home from work he wants his break. What about mommy's break time?! Not all mommies have a family support system with family members that help them or force them to at least take a quick break. I have a family member that I take care of who does not help with my daughter at all or even show much interest in her.
Being a stay at home mommy can be super overwhelming! Especially when its only mommy and daddy. I write this in hopes that people will stop underrating and dismissing the workload of the stay at home mommies.
I also hope all you hard working ladies flip the finger to the people who put us down and make sure you get some “me” time!!
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