By: Ugochi Emenaha
Maybe it’s just me, but growing up my mom always encouraged me to be independent. Maybe to a fault. She worked full time, went to school at night and with the help of my dad raised 5 lovely kids. So she believed to some extent that the person she needed to be was solely based on her. And who could blame her? Media piles on the idea that black independent women are who we are—and we don’t need anybody else. I’m sorry but I think that’s a lie. We need our sisters and they need us.
We were created to live in a community. I recently had the opportunity to spend a week with other mommy bloggers and it did so much for my soul. I got to sleep in, not worry about cooking and connect with other moms who understood my struggle. When I left, I felt fully rested—mentally, physically and emotionally.
So if you need some encouragement to build your tribe of sisters—here are 3 reasons:
Sisters help you stay out of your head:
The battles that we face as moms are mostly in our heads. “I’m not a good mom.” “My child is ___________because of me.” “I’m the only one who has to deal with _____________.” We continuously loop these negative thoughts in our heads and become unable to see the truth in our situations. When you speak on your struggles to other people they help you realize that you are not alone and remember the great things. Have you ever said, “When I say it out loud it just seems silly?”—that’s because the negative thoughts lose their power once you speak them out, and your friends allow you to erase those insecurities from your mind.
Sisters are your village:
Going on a trip to the park, or the zoo—or anywhere can seem simple. But when you start getting ready the baby starts crying, the toddler needs a diaper change, and your oldest just decided that they don’t want to be seen in public with you. Imagine that same situation with one or two friends helping you out?
As a single parent, I have learned to accept help when it is offered, even if I “think” I don’t need it. With your sisters, you don’t have to ask for help. They were already planning on arriving at your house early and helping you feed the baby. Life is just easier with friends.
Sisters help you keep your ear to the street:
In the age of social media, we get our information from social networks that might not always be accurate or up to date. And thanks to the algorithms, sometimes we just miss key information. Not with your friends around. They’ll tell you when it’s time to register and what schools will be the best for your child. They will let you know what free events are happening before you can even google it. They are your face to face, Facebook and don’t care what you look like—so no need for the filter.
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