By: Latasha Brown
Blended families can be overwhelmingly exciting but merging your finances can be very daunting. I have a blended family. I have two children prior to marrying my husband, and he had one child. When we got married we added an addition, we have a child together. Blended families are such a Beautiful Blessing, but I must say it’s not a walk in the park. You are not only just dealing with the different personalities, the ups and downs that co-parenting brings when other parents are involved, and the feelings behind the new step mom or step dad that the children experience. You are trying to manage all of these things, including merging not just your family but your finances as well, and merging finances in a blended family can bring some financial challenges. Prior to marriage, I was very independent and so was my husband. We had strong personalities. However, it wasn’t difficult for us to have candid conversations about money. At times it was challenges managing our money together. Before marriage we immediately had the money talk. Merging your finances in a blended family doesn’t have to be complicated. You have to bring the conversation to the table, and be real and honest about your feelings. Not matter how uncomfortable it me be, it’s very important to keep the communication open and clear to avoid any confusion and misunderstanding. How can you make it work? Here are some tips to help you merge your finances and keep your finances at the forefront of your blended family: 1. Make sure that you are on the same page. This is the first step. Many couples manage money differently. Make sure as a family you get on the same page about money. This is the most important step. Don’t be afraid to talk about past mistakes and any financial fears you have. Being real about your finances will allow you to be more open and comfortable to discuss this topic more openly with your spouse. If you are not comfortable at first seek a financial advisor to help you merge your finances successfully.
2. Don’t skip the family meetings. Meetings will allow you to have serious discussion about money. Family meetings should include topics such as current debt, and other financial obligations such as any previous spousal support, child support, judgements, bankruptcy, loans, credit card debt, etc. Handle legal issues together. Family meetings will give you financial peace within your family, because you are working together. This builds trust and respect, along with giving you understanding and financial wisdom for making decisions for your family.
3. Have a plan in place. How do you plan for your spouse and children to be protected financially? This includes insurance, life insurance, getting an active Will in place. With this step, make sure you update legal documents, such as wills, trusts, and anything that may have had another spouse or partner listed.
4. What are your values and financial goals? Consider each other’s values on money and financial goals and make sure you are supportive. Don’t just focus on the money hiccups and previous mistakes. Make sure you create future goals together and independently, and support one another. This builds a trusting loving blended relationship. Also take in consideration of the children’s goals and how this will impact your family financially. How will you support the kid’s college funds and what support will you give or need from the other parent or step parent, this is a goal to consider as a blended family.
5. Consider how you will handle adult children. This is huge because kids will become grown, yes they won’t stay babies or toddlers forever. They will at a certain time of their adult life lean on their parents for financial support. Always be on one accord when handling financial support with adult children. When there are multiple children, be fair. You have to come together when financially helping adult children, if not this will be a major problem in a blended marriage or marriage period. If you are disagreeing with one another, handle that without including the children. Children will play on the one parent that gives in, and then this can be detrimental to a marriage. Don’t break each other’s trust by going outside of a decision that you made together. Final Thoughts. Communication is key in a blended family. Respect is important, respect each other’s wishes. Don’t make each other feel bad about past money mistakes, this causes a shut down when handling finances. It’s imperative to keep the money talk alive within your family, with your children, as a couple, and even within co-parenting. Set financial boundaries within your home. Most importantly pray, prayer will leave your blended family in financial peace. You are a blended family, so blend well!
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