Postpartum Depression

Author: Passion King

" I am glad you are here mama." I looked down at my two year old in amazement. He has no idea the power of what he's just told his mama. I know. GOD knows. I know that it was no mistake that he spoke to me through my child.

I almost didn't make it  i didn't want to make it. You see, when my son was 3 months old I contemplated taking my own life. I was a first time mom suffering from postpartum depression 

My depression symptoms began as early as my pregnancy.  Although excited, I often found myself thinking I wouldn't survive child birth.  I felt like God had made a mistake. I wanted to be a good mom but I didn't feel worthy.  

"I was sad to be with my son all day. I was sad to be a part from my son."

After I gave birth to my son in June 2015 I expected my feelings of doubt to fade. I still felt inadequate. I became very anxious and irritable. I was sad to be with my son all day. I was sad to be a part from my son.  I felt ashamed so I isolated myself from family and friends.  I stopped praying and going to church.  I really lost hope and felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel 

When my son was a few months old I kissed him while he slept.  I walked into the bathroom , pills in hand , with no intentions of ever walking out.  

Fast forward to today.  My son is now 3 years old. He is the light of my life and such a joy. He is smart, funny and a constant reminder of God's love.  I wish I could tell you immediately after I walked out the bathroom I was healed. I wasn't.  I do know that God sent his angels to intercede and I decided my son was worth living for. My story was worth telling.

"The pain you feel cannot compare to the joy that is coming" (Romans8:8) it is the truth! 

I am living proof that God will give you beauty for ashes.  When He tells us that " The pain you feel cannot compare to the joy that is coming " (Romans8:8) it is the truth! 

I am now a postpartum support advocate.  I create a safe space for women to identify and discuss their experience w postpartum depression. 

I'm happy I'm here too. I'm here to share the goodness of God and let every woman suffering know that she is not alone.